Last night’s dream was one of my craziest. Crazier than the lucid dream where I was too afraid that I was sleepwalking to be curious and try to jump out the window and see what happens.

I was one of those Left Behind. It was probably my simple agnosticism that kept me from going through the gates of heaven. Now, my dream was a semi-futuristic age, so instead of the gates being gigantic, pristine swing gates, they were white automatic doors. They had the look of a double-pane window, with the top curved so that it could form an arch, though there was an consuming blackness that gradually increased a foot from the gate, so you could not see far in. The entryway, however, which was a tunnel around two feet smaller on each side than the room it was connected to, was brightly lit.

It seemed to be some kind of time of reckoning. Some of my friends, family, and I walked to the gate, but the gate would not open. I knew it was because of me. The gate wouldn’t open because I was there. I knew that I could not enter, but they could. So I let them enter by walking away. I didn’t look back, and shook my head in regret as I left the entryway and heard the door open and close.

But not all of them had gone. One had not gone through the doorway, and instead stood with me. A female, who I knew was important to me, but who did not acknowledge me as a lover. All the same, I was glad she was there with me. There were others, though. I recognized many as Stuy students, though I cannot recall their faces. We were all in it together. We were all stuck there.

And then something happened, something that makes even less sense than the things I’ve said already, simply because I can’t explain it: the people started turning against each other. It wasn’t by killing each other, though; they turned against each other by throwing food. There just happened to be plenty of food lying around, in lots of indistinguishable but definitely real forms. One started to chuck food at people, and those he hit would pause for a while only to turn just as evil has him and throw foot at other people as well. My friend by my side was becoming increasingly agitated and scared, so I shielded her with my body, ready to fend off any projectiles. As I dodged one that was aimed at my head, I also noticed that a piece of food was thrown from behind me. I turned around only to find that my female companion had been turned already, and had food in her hand ready to throw at me. I evaded her food and ducked behind a counter.

It was behind that counter that I found a weapon I knew I could use against these people. A bowl of thick, sticky tuna fish with a large wooden spoon. I took up my weapon, and marching toward the closet enemy, I dug out a big spoonful and crammed it in his face. He twitched for a while, as if I was electrocuting him but at the same time freezing him in place, and then dropped to the floor as I gave him a shove. Then he got up, and looked perfectly normal, albeit confused as to why people were throwing food at one another. I continued on my rampage of redemption throughout the room, as people took up arms with me and purged the remaining evil. And we succeeded.

After that, though, there was silence. We had been left on Earth to fend for ourselves, and we certainly had the numbers to, but it was still an enormous task. I then took charge, ordering people to guard the only other door with the tuna fish we already had and some people to find anything else they could in the room. People scurried around for a little while before we heard a knock on the door that was being guarded. We opened it cautiously, with tuna fish in our hands, to find the only person I recognized in the whole dream, Caroline. She came as an emissary from a neighboring room, peace treaty and all. I considered poking her in the head with some tuna fish to make sure she wasn’t turned, but I decided against it, and took the peace treaty to sign. Before I could though, I heard a commotion in the hall. Other neighboring rooms had filed out and stood in a large common space, and I took a look. It wasn’t long before I felt an ominous presence, and our real enemy materialized himself.

It was a jedi. A green lightsaber-wielding jedi. I knew he was going to kill us all, and apparently someone else thought so as well, so one person stepped up to fight him. It was strange; while I was seeing the jedi from my spot by the door, I also saw the jedi from the eyes of the challenger. I saw his green lightsaber swing down, and the challenger barely catch the saber arm and throw it back. The fighter then picked up some kind of weapon, and did something that I can’t pinpoint. Whatever he did, my view of the jedi through his eyes changed; his lightsaber was no longer a green beam of focused light, but a sword, a physical manifestation. And the fighter shattered that sword, a clean diagonal swipe that halved the blade.

Then hell broke loose. There were energies swirling everywhere, and a sound akin to the time rewind of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. We started moving backwards in time, but not through what had already happened. No, by breaking the lightsaber we altered time itself. We moved backwards into our rooms, but a few people actually moved backwards into dental chairs that were located near the bright windows of the central hall. Dental chairs that had straps at the wrist for holding a person down. They walked backwards into the chairs, and the straps locked themselves around the wrists, and the faces of those sitting writhed in agony. This I saw from the viewpoint of the fighter who shattered the lightsaber, who had remained unaffected by the time shift.

I did not see what was being done to the people in the chairs, because it was then that I woke up.