The Domain of Steven Pinnacle of Paperless Perfection

4Apr/110

Bidders bartering for Bananas

Continuing the trend of my quirky eBay listings comes yet another.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Bananas.
Bananas who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Bananas.

Bananas who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say bananas?

No, actually, because you were probably hoping I would say bananas and present you with the King Mukla card, with an scratchable code to unlock Bananas the Ape. Using this code gets you a Banana Charm, which is not only good as a little splash of yellow on your otherwise drab and dreary mud-stained adventuring wardrobe but also summons an adorable ape vanity pet.

No, this is not a monkey. Don't expect Bananas to do any coding for you.

No, but at least you get an angelic ape to blindly follow you around as you take on monsters a hundred times its size. Any lesser being would quake and tremble at the thought, but Bananas?

No, this ape's allegiance is ardent, for he is especially thankful that you were able to procure him!

No small feat, since this card is especially rare. You'll only find one of these cards in about 242 booster packs, which means that on average this card would cost you $400 to farm! Chances are just barely better if you're opening up random Landro's Pet Boxes to find one, as there's just barely a .5% chance in each box. At 2,000 UDE points per box, that means you' going to be looking at two million UDE points spent to nab this attractive ape.

No, save your money by bidding on this auction. To top it off, I'll even toss in a protective sleeve for the card so that you can proudly show it off. This is one card that makes a statement, and that statement is "I support animals and wildlife, especially when those animals get me in-game items for World of Warcraft and happen to trample smaller allies when they're played in the trading card game."

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2Apr/110

Bear with my puns

My penchant for unnecessarily long product descriptions started when I hawked my wares in WoW, but recently I've found that the tendency carries over to my eBay listings as well.

Fantasy games are supposed to be fantastical. World of Warcraft lets you ride around on huge bats, mechanical striders and more, but you never get a sense of accomplishment because they're mythical creatures that you've never seen before. Who knows what huge bats are like? Maybe they're actually really tame and love being ridden. Where's the challenge in that?

What you need is a mount that you understand, a mount that you can proudly show off and say "Yea, I caught this the other day. Oh, those giant claws and teeth? No big deal, I was able to wrestle him down with my BEAR hands! Oh ho ho ho!"

If you haven't guessed already, what I'm offering you is The Red Bearon, a rare card from the World of Warcraft TCG's Drums of War set. Now when I say rare, I mean rare: the chance you'll find one of these bad boys is just 1 in every 363 booster packs you open. Let me do the math for you: if you were to try to farm this, it would cost you over $900.

So save your real-life gold and plop down a bid on this real-life card. Not only do you get a sweet card for the TCG game (come on, an armored bear?) but you also get an unlock code for an in-game bear mount. Whether you're gnome, blood elf or orc, you're bound to look badass when friends and foes alike see you strolling down the thoroughfare with this bad boy: http://www.wowhead.com/item=49282#screenshots:id=144648 .

"But why would I bother this this mount," you say, "when I already have one I love?" Well bucko, if you're already happily mounted then I don't know why you're looking on eBay for other mounts but I'm not here to judge. I will say that if you personally don't care about riding this sick bear around Azeroth, then maybe you know a friend who does. A friend with lots of gold burning a hole in his pocket. A friend you could sell this mount to, because the item this card gives you is bind-on-use. Sell it at your leisure, or just dangle it above your enemies' heads as they grovel at your feet and offer you exorbitant amounts of gold for it!

Of course, if you're already rolling in dough, you can still lavishly flaunt it without opening a trade window. Using this mount will count towards the Mountain 'o Mounts achievement, an easy way of saying "Yes, I do have a veritable mountain of bears. Don't you?"

Bid on this now and you'll be entered in the running for The Red Bearon card in perfect condition, unlock code intact and unscratched. To preserve its integrity on the long journey to your mailbox, I'll even toss in a protective sleeve (think of it like bear armor for your armored bear).

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