The Domain of Steven Pinnacle of Paperless Perfection

29Aug/04Off

About (insert word here)


About Me
Steven Li, Steven Lee, Stephen Lee, Jet Li, Steven, Steve, Chu, Donald, liebchen, kid, I've been called a variety of things over the last sixteen years. Born on January 20, I'm used to being older than people in my class, which is one of the only advantages I have against them considering that I'm shorter than average and often act like a shy Asian boy.

You'd best be good at relating to me or starting up conversation when we meet, because I'm sure as hell not going to try. I'm the epitome of a socially lazy person; I like having conversation and socializing, but a constant need to understand what the other person is feeling and how my decisions will affect them usually renders my speech slow and boring.

There are exceptions: when I've known someone for a while, I understand their mind better, and my reaction time improves. When I connect with someone regarding something, I know that they'll understand what I say, which removes that worry and improves reaction time. When I'm online, the slow typers of the world have made it socially accepted not to be offended if replies take more than ten seconds to be sent, which makes reaction time irrelvant.

Obviously, the last choice is the one that I prefer, and as such I spend most of my time on the computer. I can be found with the AIM alias SarcasticSteven, though alternatively you can email me at SarcasticEccentric[a-t]Gmail[dot]com. I'm always up for a conversation, doubly so if it's about something I'm interested in. This includes but is not limited to anime and manga (even shoujo is fine by me), programming (dabbled in Java, Python, Netlogo and Scheme), video games, roleplaying games, and CTY. You can easily shut me off by talking about clothes, things that are more likely to hurt a relationship than strengthen it (politics, religion, news events), and in general not listening or respecting what I say.

So watch your mouth, and my sarcasm won't bite back too hard. When you talk to me, just remember two things.

  • If you say something funny, I'm probably going to add it to my collection of crazy conversations. Consider it an honor, but one that can be voided if you tell me to do so. The collection has since fallen into decay, but one of these days I'll get off my ass and stock it. You've been warned.
  • Deep down inside, I'm a prude, moral, kind person. In a strange twist, I enjoy acting the complete opposite. This means that sometimes during our conversations I may be sexually explicit, immoral, sadistic and cruel. It's all dreadfully fun, but remember that it's all superficial. I will never act upon the questionable activities I describe to you, so don't order a special jacket for me.


About the Site (history)
The Domain of Steven came out of the womb of Xanga. However, it resented its Asian heritage and community, and in order to have a host that let it more easily customize its code, it moved to Blogspot. However, this proved to be too hard a task for poor poor Steven, and so he joined the Deadjournal community to seek solace with the many friends he had there. This was its abode for quite some time, eventually mating and having a child, which it sold to Freewebs for a Yodel and a quick grope.

It eventually grew discontent, however, and started looking for new real estate. There were rumors of a house being constructed at Zer0host, but the foundation collapsed and smashed into the five kegs of vodka that was being used to keep the construction workers in good shape. One of the shards of glass impaled a construction worker smoking a cigarette, which dropped and lit the nicely-formed pool of alcohol. The following forest fire greatly devalued the property, considering tree ash wasn't in style that year, and was abandoned following the immolation of all the construction workers.

It then considered refurbishing its hold home at Blogspot, and quickly went on a trip to survey the site. However, because the tortured hamsters that were left there to die had mutated into elephant-sized behemoths, it didn't get a warm welcome and had to leave as quickly as it came.

It overestimated its running ability and underestimated the elehamsters, and the following scene became the inspiration for Monty Python's Black Knight skit. As the limbless being was used in a game of Hot Potato, a demon called Lifelesspeople made it a Faustian deal, offering 500 megs of webspace and 20 gigs of bandwidth along with a bagful of MySQL databases, email accounts, FTP accounts, Cpanel access and various PHP and Perl scripts. All this was in exchange for a piece of its soul. It was very hesitant about giving up its soul, so instead it gave away a portion of its life; it agreed that instead of spending time doing good deeds and torturing hamsters (Lifelesspeople liked furry rodents), it would post on its forums fifty-five times in an effort to waste away its life on meaningless forums.

With the luck of Lifelesspeople on its side, it married the temptress called Movable Type. It enjoyed the nonstop raunchy sex, but it eventually found a number of things missing from its wife, and had an affair with WordPress, eventually stabbing its wife after a night of steamy sex and marrying its mistress soon after.

Unbeknownst to them but knownst to us, the deal with Lifelesspeople was constantly changing. Something to do with the erasable ink that made up the terms of the agreement, and the little clause at the end stating, "I own you." Bad news for illiterate Steven. Radical changes took place over time regarding the deal, where the amount of webspace and bandwidth fluctuated and the amount of sacrifices changed. Instead of a set number of posts, each post would be given a certain number of points based on how long it was, and there was a point quota each month. Not a problem for Steven, considering he had Internet access at his workplace, essentially giving him eight hours of forum browsing every day. As that access was cut short when the summer ended, the deal changed again, requiring only a fourth of the points for a fourth of the space. Score. The deal eventually changed to a bit more than a fourth of the points, but now half the space originally given (that's twice the previous amount, if you haven't been keeping track), though bandwidth was still smaller. Not like we got many visitors anyway.

Even though a lot less soul was sucked away because of the deal, the real estate was still bland. Perhaps living on the 99th floor of a building was chic at one time, but as Steven and his wife WordPress didn't appreciate the suicide potential, they started looking for a new home. Even though prime real estate was being doled out for less than Steven paid for his lunch every day, the hassle of insecurity involved in trading with sewer rats in an orbiting space station in the path of a meteor the size of Texas made him unwilling to take the step. However, to promote more soul donations, any points earned past the quota set by Lifelesspeople would be turned into a "special" kind of point. It couldn't be used for next month's quota, but it was accepted as a kind of currency. Initially spurred on by the mastermind himself, domains would be auctioned off once in a while. After being woefully outbid the first few auctions, Steven got himself into an auction after all the power players had been placated with their own domains. He cast down a powerful bid, so much of an increase on the previous bid that nobody else dared to outbid him. It didn't hurt that he had slit a few throats and right before bidding, deafened everyone but the auctioneer. Steven then walked up past the confused faces and claimed his prize. Scotty beamed up his house once the paperwork was signed, giving him rights to AlliterationAbound boulevard, in the city of .com. It's only after a year passes that Steven will have to fight the local hamster gang for control of his turf.


About This Site (current state)
This site is being powered by WordPress, hosted by Lifelesspeople, has a photo gallery called Coppermine, and is enhanced by a multitude of plugins, hacks, and stylesheets.

  • This site uses the Human Condition stylesheet, created by Ian Main, which is made for the default WordPress template.
  • Content with show/hide javascript for "more": This alters the inherent "more" feature to not only allow the original type of viewing the rest, but expanding the post on the same page. I did this in Movable Type, but the same problem occurs: I'm unable to make multiple cuts of this type.
  • Hide/Cut Post Text: This is the alternative to the previous plugin. It's a variation of the "more" feature, and though it doesn't have the same javascript expansion effect (you travel to a new page with this one), it allows for multiple cuts in different places, not necessarily at the end of the post. It also allows me to rename the cut links, and more some odd reason I can make text visible in the index entry or the expanded entry and not the other, or neither.
  • Dunstan's Time of Day: Instead of displaying a time, this plugin displays a message like "early afternoon", "late at night", or "the wee hours". Amusing.
  • Witty Text: This displays a random line from a specified text file. After much arduous work, I managed to gather select quotes from all the CTY Canon songs, totaling 132 lines altogether, so there'll be fresh nostalgia every time you visit. Note that you don't have to refresh the page; it's a php script that'll display a new quote even if you just go forward and backwards.
  • Get Custom Field Values: You're able to create custom fields and values with each post, but it initially wasn't visible on the post. I honestly don't know how you were supposed to make it visible, but its intention was to have an updatable field other than the ones given. This plugin allows you to display those fields in your posts, with a good degree of customizability to boot. I've configured it so that there are three custom fields for each post: mood, listening to, and comment replies. They were things I was dearly missing, and it only took a small amount of effort to get it running. I've since removed the "mood" custom field.
  • Nice Titles: This converts all "title" attributes to "nicetitle" attributes, which displays the full text and link over a semi-transparent .png file. I didn't like that Firefox wouldn't display the whole text, and it's a nice bonus that it puts it in such an aesthetically pleasing format with a visible link at the bottom (for those who don't like their status bar). This was implemented to ease reading my replies to comments on my entries.
  • Acronym Replacer: This lets you mouseover predefined acronyms so that you know what the fuck I'm talking about. Some might be obvious, like AOL, but others like CAD or RTS (yes, even among gamers) are less widely known.

A few notes about the entries that you'll see here:

  • I have detailed the method I use to handle replies to comments I receive, if you're interested in finding out.
  • I encourage comments, even if it's just to say hi. If you're just going to say hi, though, I'll ask that you don't comment on an emotional post. I look forward to every comment, and a comment on an emotional post gets me exceptionally anxious, so to let me down is to wound me. Ouchie.
  • Unless something bizarre sends hundreds of commenters my way, I'll respond to each one in the order received. *cue waiting music* Check the bottom of each post (main page or individual) once I've gotten around to replying.
  • Because this is a journal that anyone can read doesn't mean it's a journal everyone will be able to understand. When I talk about a touchy matter regarding specific people, I'll be highly ungrammatical in my use of pronouns, frequent the thesaurus, make obscure references that promote the use of Google, and in general be as shady as possible. This method of being cryptic is not only fun to devise, but almost ensures that unless you already know or I want you to know, you're not going to know. Just remember: the harder it is to figure out, the greater the pleasure once you solve it. This journal rewards those who are perceptive, patient, and thorough. I trust that once you figure something out, you'll tell me. It makes me oh so happy to know that my puzzles gave someone enjoyment.
28Aug/04Off

Compilation of crazy conversations

surfur2704 (9:20:50 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:21:00 PM):
surfur2704 (9:21:34 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:21:50 PM): surfur2704 (9:22:17 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:22:37 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:22:59 PM):
surfur2704 (9:23:42 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:24:08 PM):
surfur2704 (9:25:15 PM): ?
SarcasticSteven (9:25:25 PM): nothing
surfur2704 (9:26:14 PM): i think that was milked for all it was worth
SarcasticSteven (9:26:24 PM): we got a good run out of it
SarcasticSteven (9:26:33 PM): we should be proud
surfur2704 (9:26:51 PM): well, not that good a run in comparison
SarcasticSteven (9:27:09 PM): comparison to what?
surfur2704 (9:28:04 PM): um..the bible?
SarcasticSteven (9:28:36 PM): i don't think ray charles is in the bible
surfur2704 (9:29:02 PM): lots of things arnt
surfur2704 (9:29:07 PM): like pie for instance
surfur2704 (9:29:14 PM): there is no mention of pie in the bible
SarcasticSteven (9:29:41 PM): pie transcends the bible
SarcasticSteven (9:30:05 PM): when the first person to go to heaven went to heaven, he found that pie was already there
SarcasticSteven (9:30:09 PM): much to his delight, i might add
surfur2704 (9:30:20 PM): so pie is on equal footing with god?
surfur2704 (9:30:22 PM): so which got to heaven first, pie or god?
surfur2704 (9:30:38 PM): but if the pies in heaven, wouldnt it not be able to be eaten?
SarcasticSteven (9:30:52 PM): who says angels can't be cannibals?
surfur2704 (9:31:22 PM): but arent u not supposed to sustain injury in heaven?
SarcasticSteven (9:31:38 PM): really?
SarcasticSteven (9:31:40 PM): wow
SarcasticSteven (9:31:51 PM): there should be a fight club in heaven

QnzFinest651 (10:37:35 PM): wats a significant lesson you've learned in life
SarcasticSteven (10:42:17 PM): help people out when they're in need
SarcasticSteven (10:43:05 PM): otherwise a man who you inadvertantly sent to prison for being part of a napoleonic conspiracy is going to escape from the prison you sent him to, find a buried treasure, and totally fuck you over

MoMan myBuddy (1:10:13 PM): you need to steal some insulation this time around
SarcasticSteven (1:10:16 PM): haha
SarcasticSteven (1:10:19 PM): they were so cool
SarcasticSteven (1:10:25 PM): all squishy and soft and...
SarcasticSteven (1:10:30 PM): *ahem*
SarcasticSteven (1:10:42 PM): some of them were actually quite firm
SarcasticSteven (1:10:47 PM): dare i say supple?
SarcasticSteven (1:10:52 PM): if only they were warm too...
SarcasticSteven (1:10:57 PM): and jiggled
SarcasticSteven (1:11:07 PM): that'd be such an odd scene
SarcasticSteven (1:11:17 PM): coming in on the intern groping the insulation
SarcasticSteven (1:11:34 PM): might lead to some closet sex to keep the person's mouth shut

MoMan myBuddy (9:02:36 PM): "Dear Steve, Life is great here, I'm sitting on the toilet, it's kind of cold. I'm glad it's not wet. That always sucks."
SarcasticSteven (9:02:48 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (9:03:07 PM): "here's something to remember me by" *dab dab*

SarcasticSteven (6:41:47 PM): home slice
TONY lN BROOKLYN (6:41:58 PM): homee fryyy
SarcasticSteven (6:42:04 PM): home...pie?
TONY lN BROOKLYN (6:42:10 PM): no, no such thing, you lose
SarcasticSteven (6:42:13 PM): *sob*

SarcasticSteven (6:19:43 PM): i asked avallone for permission to cut
ProdigalElement4 (6:19:53 PM): whatd he say?
SarcasticSteven (6:20:17 PM): he's like "yo homez, s'long as you be gellin, we aint got no beef"
ProdigalElement4 (6:20:38 PM): rephrase
SarcasticSteven (6:20:43 PM): "ok"

ProdigalElement4 (1:14:04 AM): whatre u still doing up?
SarcasticSteven (1:14:10 AM): sex
SarcasticSteven (1:14:45 AM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (1:14:47 AM): done
SarcasticSteven (1:14:48 AM): night

dabiggestDREAMer (10:30:33 PM): all i know is, nolen, dreyfus, and price [physics teachers] all teach 1st and 2nd..
SarcasticSteven (10:31:02 PM): nolen/dreyfus sounds ideal
SarcasticSteven (10:31:15 PM): wow that looks like some weird fanfic pairing

dabiggestDREAMer (7:31:10 PM): wanna commit incest? 😉

SarcasticSteven (9:52:07 PM): yes, you do
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Auto response from dabiggestDREAMer (9:52:08 PM): : )

need i say more?
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SarcasticSteven (9:52:32 PM): maybe not need...but it'd be nice
SarcasticSteven (9:52:46 PM): talking is always good
SarcasticSteven (9:52:49 PM): talking to yourself isn't as good
SarcasticSteven (9:52:59 PM): but i don't think this totally qualifies as talking to yourself
SarcasticSteven (9:53:04 PM): i mean, you're going to read this eventually
SarcasticSteven (9:53:08 PM): so it's fun!
SarcasticSteven (9:53:15 PM): it's kinda like posting on a weblog
SarcasticSteven (9:53:31 PM): you know people are gonna read it, but until that happens, you're free to shape your thoughts however you like
SarcasticSteven (9:53:45 PM): and you can say things like PENIS without people immediately chastising you
SarcasticSteven (9:54:03 PM): mmm, dominatrix action springing to mind
SarcasticSteven (9:54:23 PM): are dominatrix and bondage fetishes necessarily related?
SarcasticSteven (9:54:31 PM): i thought dominatrix was an extreme
SarcasticSteven (9:54:51 PM): like, you could assume the controlling role of bondage action without necessarily being a dominatrix
SarcasticSteven (9:55:08 PM): though i think there needs to be some bondage action for there to be dominatrix action
SarcasticSteven (9:55:13 PM): cause otherwise you aren't really dominating
SarcasticSteven (9:55:22 PM): unless it's a purely mental kind of domination?
SarcasticSteven (9:55:29 PM): like, force mind control shit
SarcasticSteven (9:55:32 PM): oh man
SarcasticSteven (9:55:38 PM): darth vader the dominatrix
SarcasticSteven (9:55:46 PM): or better yet, emperor palpatine
SarcasticSteven (9:55:52 PM): vader's his little sex toy
SarcasticSteven (9:56:14 PM): obviously no oral action, cause his mask didn't have a hole in it
SarcasticSteven (9:56:22 PM): but the back door should still be open
SarcasticSteven (9:56:37 PM): and there's still finger stimulation, i guess
SarcasticSteven (9:56:48 PM): i wonder if palpatine took viagra
SarcasticSteven (9:56:52 PM): he seemed pretty old
SarcasticSteven (9:56:59 PM): or maybe he infused his little man with the force
SarcasticSteven (9:57:43 PM): this would top my previous rant high score, but it's not really a rant because you're not able to talk back
SarcasticSteven (9:57:52 PM): still...amusing
dabiggestDREAMer (9:58:02 PM): ...

SarcasticSteven (9:07:11 PM): know what it's about?
MrBlueMirage (9:08:45 PM): ummm
MrBlueMirage (9:08:46 PM): sorta
MrBlueMirage (9:08:54 PM): three sisters. one husband shot. and lemonade.
SarcasticSteven (9:09:00 PM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (9:09:08 PM): lesbian action and necrophilia
SarcasticSteven (9:09:12 PM): good enough for me

SarcasticSteven (11:01:15 PM): have your mom draft a note for you
SarcasticSteven (11:01:24 PM): "please excuse cristen. she was making pie all night long"
SarcasticSteven (11:01:46 PM): and all your teachers will solemnly nod in knowing acknowledgement

dabiggestDREAMer (10:38:22 PM): why does masturbation keep on being brought up?!?!

dabiggestDREAMer (7:10:16 PM): sperm? pfft, who needs sperm
dabiggestDREAMer (7:10:27 PM): there's plenty of it in the world to go around
SarcasticSteven (7:10:35 PM): but not mine
SarcasticSteven (7:10:40 PM): i like my sperm
SarcasticSteven (7:10:42 PM): *wiggle wiggle*
dabiggestDREAMer (7:10:46 PM): ahaha
dabiggestDREAMer (7:10:52 PM): what has it done for you lately?? huh? huh??
dabiggestDREAMer (7:11:58 PM): it serves no purpose until you decide to have a kid..
dabiggestDREAMer (7:12:16 PM): if sperm didn't exist, neither would contraception!!
SarcasticSteven (7:12:24 PM): NEITHER WOULD BIRTH
dabiggestDREAMer (7:12:31 PM): ...oh right.

BBoyTeKniQaL (5:21:00 PM): what? did u get MORE sarcastic?
BBoyTeKniQaL (5:21:10 PM): oh, no, the world is doomed

BeingOfChaos (9:05:18 PM): There is a fashion now actually
BeingOfChaos (9:05:37 PM): people loose the queens and claim they play beter without them becasue they nolnger worry. I am still figuring it out
SarcasticSteven (9:08:42 PM): have any of them actually won?
BeingOfChaos (9:09:00 PM): Nope. Not really.

SarcasticSteven (5:02:58 PM): NIGGA PLEASE! *does the ass popping thing*

SarcasticSteven (10:12:05 PM): i was making an allusion to popping a cap in someone's ass
SarcasticSteven (10:12:07 PM): but i shortened it
SarcasticSteven (10:12:16 PM): so i said i was just doing the ass popping thing
ProdigalElement4 (10:12:19 PM): uh huh
CCC13 (10:12:43 PM): im out this is freaking me out
CCC13 has left the room.

YoNX ZYpE has entered the room.
SarcasticSteven (10:25:42 PM): he has it in his ass
ProdigalElement4 (10:25:45 PM): wtf r u talking about?
YoNX ZYpE has left the room.

SarcasticSteven (9:57:17 PM): the bus driver was pretty nice too
DaBiggestDreamer (9:57:27 PM): really? ^_^ awesome
SarcasticSteven (9:58:12 PM): did you know him?
DaBiggestDreamer (9:59:00 PM): i dunno, i tend not to remember the bus drivers...
SarcasticSteven (10:00:37 PM): apparently he has a korean wife
SarcasticSteven (10:00:42 PM): lol and he gave me a piece of advice
SarcasticSteven (10:01:00 PM): "don't ever cheat on her. those puerto rican girls will hunt you down."
DaBiggestDreamer (10:01:32 PM): LOL!!!!!
DaBiggestDreamer (10:02:48 PM): my mom's like nodding along.. she's like yep, it's all true..

DaBiggestDreamer (7:28:14 PM): 'twas a normal, happy day at work..
DaBiggestDreamer (7:28:17 PM): kids are so amusing..
SarcasticSteven (7:28:24 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (7:28:35 PM): anything in particular you'd like to mention?
DaBiggestDreamer (7:28:46 PM): yeah 🙂
SarcasticSteven (7:28:49 PM): people eating paste, making out, what?
SarcasticSteven (7:29:08 PM): both?
SarcasticSteven (7:29:11 PM): (eew)
DaBiggestDreamer (7:29:23 PM): LOL
DaBiggestDreamer (7:29:26 PM): this kid named steven gets a card and cupcakes for his birthday, right..
DaBiggestDreamer (7:29:48 PM): right away, he goes for the cupcakes!! then someone mentions to him that he didn't even open the card!!
DaBiggestDreamer (7:29:50 PM): he was like,
DaBiggestDreamer (7:30:02 PM): "what? there's a card??! *runs to it* MONEY!!"

SarcasticSteven (3:52:57 PM): woof
DaBiggestDreamer (3:53:26 PM): nyo
SarcasticSteven (3:53:39 PM): nyo?
DaBiggestDreamer (3:53:51 PM): yes, nyo 😀
SarcasticSteven (3:53:56 PM): nyu 😛
DaBiggestDreamer (3:54:04 PM): pyo!!!!
SarcasticSteven (3:54:22 PM): pyu
SarcasticSteven (3:54:31 PM): rawr
SarcasticSteven (3:54:34 PM): *shrug*

DaBiggestDreamer (11:08:48 PM): let's.... make half the population sterile first >:D
SarcasticSteven (11:09:00 PM): *flinches*

DaBiggestDreamer (9:03:54 PM): yes, drunken schoolchildren, steven.. i missed the drunken elementary schoolchildren..
SarcasticSteven (9:03:59 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (9:04:16 PM): that's when they're at their best behavior 😀
SarcasticSteven (9:04:20 PM): i should know!
SarcasticSteven (9:04:21 PM): somehow...
DaBiggestDreamer (9:04:23 PM): LOL
DaBiggestDreamer (9:04:31 PM): it'd be interesting to find out, actually...
SarcasticSteven (9:04:40 PM): it'd be illegal to find out

SarcasticSteven (9:25:32 PM): fuzzy wuzzy was a bear
SarcasticSteven (9:25:36 PM): fuzzy wuzzy had no hair
SarcasticSteven (9:25:41 PM): if fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy
SarcasticSteven (9:25:44 PM): then what was he?
SarcasticSteven (9:25:47 PM): READY TO EAT
DaBiggestDreamer (9:26:08 PM): o_o

DaBiggestDreamer (10:54:21 PM): *longs for the one stick of pocky left*
DaBiggestDreamer (10:54:28 PM): damned temptations..
DaBiggestDreamer (10:54:31 PM): must..control..
SarcasticSteven (10:54:36 PM): you can have it 😛
SarcasticSteven (10:54:39 PM): i'll live
SarcasticSteven (10:54:48 PM): watch me die the next day
SarcasticSteven (10:54:56 PM): "asian boy dies from pocky withdrawl"

DaBiggestDreamer (9:39:56 PM): that wasn't a knife.. >.>.. it was a penny.. *points* HEY LOOK A FLYING VIRGIN!!

SarcasticSteven (12:22:24 AM): i don't have enough prowess for that
SarcasticSteven (12:22:28 AM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (12:22:29 AM): prowess
SarcasticSteven (12:22:31 AM): big word
DaBiggestDreamer (12:22:45 AM): 7 huge-ass letters, yep..
SarcasticSteven (12:23:00 AM): lol
SarcasticSteven (12:23:07 AM): but...it's got...
SarcasticSteven (12:23:08 AM): umm
SarcasticSteven (12:23:14 AM): wess!
SarcasticSteven (12:23:17 AM): how often do you see that?
SarcasticSteven (12:23:21 AM): NOT VERY
SarcasticSteven (12:23:22 AM): exactly
SarcasticSteven (12:23:34 AM): *runs away before point can be refuted*
DaBiggestDreamer (12:23:37 AM): *falls over laughing* that was pathetic!!
DaBiggestDreamer (12:23:42 AM): 8 LETTERS
DaBiggestDreamer (12:23:45 AM): owned!!
SarcasticSteven (12:23:53 AM): lol
SarcasticSteven (12:24:01 AM): *huddles in a corner somewhere*
SarcasticSteven (12:24:05 AM): 9 LETTERS
SarcasticSteven (12:24:07 AM): OWNED
DaBiggestDreamer (12:24:46 AM): *throws rock*
DaBiggestDreamer (12:24:54 AM): stop turning everything i say back to me.. 🙁
DaBiggestDreamer (12:24:56 AM): ...
DaBiggestDreamer (12:25:00 AM): 10 letters 😛
SarcasticSteven (12:25:03 AM): lol
SarcasticSteven (12:25:04 AM): evil!
DaBiggestDreamer (12:25:10 AM): bwahahaha!!
DaBiggestDreamer (12:25:31 AM): yea let's see you get an 11-letter word now..
SarcasticSteven (12:25:59 AM): umm
SarcasticSteven (12:26:16 AM): DAMNIT

DaDeViLhUnTeR88 (8:55:11 PM): yo what does this quote mean to you, "Honored with an overwhelming level of critical acclaim, this truly exceptional, utterly unique achievement will lift yor spirits and capture your heart" GOOD MORNING AMERICA
DaDeViLhUnTeR88 (8:55:21 PM): its for a research project i'm doing
SarcasticSteven (8:55:44 PM): this shit is fucking cool
SarcasticSteven (8:56:04 PM): other niggers think it's pretty hot, too
DaDeViLhUnTeR88 (8:56:10 PM): wtf
SarcasticSteven (8:56:15 PM): that's my interpretation

SarcasticSteven (7:06:42 PM): he ensures that people get high
SarcasticSteven (7:06:47 PM): OFF KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!!
SarcasticSteven (7:06:51 PM): *WHOAAAAA*
SarcasticSteven (7:07:10 PM): it's like sex
SarcasticSteven (7:07:16 PM): it's always better when you do it in a group
DIslam (7:07:40 PM): lol
DIslam (7:07:44 PM): how would u know
SarcasticSteven (7:08:01 PM): because i have knowledge
SarcasticSteven (7:08:09 PM): AND KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!
SarcasticSteven (7:08:13 PM): *flies away*

DIslam (8:23:07 PM): card players??
SarcasticSteven (8:23:42 PM): yea
SarcasticSteven (8:23:54 PM): like prostitutes, but with clothes
SarcasticSteven (8:23:56 PM): and legal
SarcasticSteven (8:24:01 PM): and without the sex

DIslam (8:25:11 PM): steven.....
SarcasticSteven (8:25:37 PM): it's pronounced esteban

DIslam (9:19:56 PM): ive never seen an asian guy dance
SarcasticSteven (9:20:05 PM): that's because ours is a dance of death

DIslam (7:57:24 PM): u r SO weird
SarcasticSteven (7:57:37 PM): aye
SarcasticSteven (7:57:49 PM): but think of the alternative
SarcasticSteven (7:57:57 PM): i could be a bland, boring, emotionless shell of a person
SarcasticSteven (7:58:03 PM): and what fun would that be?
SarcasticSteven (7:58:06 PM): except to poke with a stick

DIslam (11:36:13 PM): so
DIslam (11:36:18 PM): who gave him the wallet
SarcasticSteven (11:36:29 PM): the candyman
SarcasticSteven (11:36:34 PM): cause he mixes it with love
SarcasticSteven (11:36:40 PM): and makes the world taste goooooood...
SarcasticSteven (11:36:45 PM): the candyman...
SarcasticSteven (11:36:48 PM): the candy man can...
DIslam (11:36:56 PM): does love contain an exchange of bodily fluids?
SarcasticSteven (11:37:39 PM): only when you're low on blood
DIslam (11:37:53 PM): you are so special
SarcasticSteven (11:38:00 PM): you are my shining star
DIslam (11:38:03 PM): lol
DIslam (11:38:29 PM): so is he dating that chick or what
SarcasticSteven (11:38:41 PM): only until it's fat enough to eat
SarcasticSteven (11:38:52 PM): the perdue chicken isn't as good as the kind you raise yourself
SarcasticSteven (11:38:56 PM): with tender loving care
SarcasticSteven (11:39:00 PM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (11:39:02 PM): tender chicken
DIslam (11:39:26 PM): boy what r u on and why wont u share
SarcasticSteven (11:39:58 PM): because my mother told me never to jump off a building unless i was on crack
DIslam (11:40:10 PM): r u on crack?
DIslam (11:40:15 PM): ill help u lemme push
DIslam (11:40:16 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (11:40:19 PM): *wheeeeee*
DIslam (11:40:42 PM): u need. oxygen.
SarcasticSteven (11:40:56 PM): *wheeze*
DIslam (11:41:25 PM): so this prodigal element kid is the drug dealer?
SarcasticSteven (11:41:40 PM): only on sundays
DIslam (11:41:56 PM): what happens on other days?
SarcasticSteven (11:42:11 PM): if you knew, i'd have to kill him

DIslam (11:42:25 PM): do u know who this is?
SarcasticSteven (11:42:37 PM): only on saturdays
DIslam (11:42:53 PM): ok now this game is repeating
DIslam (11:42:55 PM): lol
DIslam (11:42:59 PM): who am i and who r u
SarcasticSteven (11:43:14 PM): ah, questions worthy of another toke on the pipe
SarcasticSteven (11:43:22 PM): *toke*
SarcasticSteven (11:43:28 PM): *wheeze*
DIslam (11:43:41 PM): ur crazier than i am
DIslam (11:43:46 PM): and i need professional help
SarcasticSteven (11:43:54 PM): only on fridays
SarcasticSteven (11:43:56 PM): wait
SarcasticSteven (11:43:59 PM): *checks calendar*
SarcasticSteven (11:44:03 PM): tuesdays
DIslam (11:44:26 PM): ur a madman!!!
SarcasticSteven (11:44:38 PM): i'm a maniac! maniac!
SarcasticSteven (11:44:43 PM): *wheeze*
DIslam (11:45:40 PM): lol
DIslam (11:45:49 PM): what time do u usually go to bed
SarcasticSteven (11:46:04 PM): whenever the dog bites
SarcasticSteven (11:46:06 PM): and the moon sings
SarcasticSteven (11:46:09 PM): when you're feeling sad...
SarcasticSteven (11:46:14 PM): these are just some of my favorite things...

DIslam (12:03:53 AM): dewan told u im psychotic didnt he
DIslam (12:03:54 AM): lol
SarcasticSteven (12:04:02 AM): no
SarcasticSteven (12:04:03 AM): wait
SarcasticSteven (12:04:05 AM): lemme check
SarcasticSteven (12:04:11 AM): i tend to gloss over words like psychotic
SarcasticSteven (12:04:21 AM): hearing them too often dulls their importance
DIslam (12:04:27 AM): yup
DIslam (12:04:28 AM): yr right
DIslam (12:05:19 AM): my laptop is making noises
SarcasticSteven (12:05:34 AM): no, he didn't say you were psychotic
SarcasticSteven (12:05:59 AM): in fact, he showed admirable concern for you
SarcasticSteven (12:06:28 AM): fighting off a number of ninjas as he related various anecdotes of you helping each other out
SarcasticSteven (12:06:57 AM): while i'm just there standing wide-mouthed, saying his name occasionally to show that i'm still alive and that i'm astonished, in true cliche anime style
SarcasticSteven (12:07:01 AM): of course then he died
SarcasticSteven (12:07:07 AM): which is slightly unfortunate

DIslam (12:07:39 AM): lol
DIslam (12:08:04 AM): ninjas eh?
DIslam (12:08:11 AM): so yr comng to this thing on friday
SarcasticSteven (12:08:49 AM): the thing where we rappel off of rooftops?
SarcasticSteven (12:09:00 AM): it's quite fun, actually
SarcasticSteven (12:09:13 AM): we're putting paint on our shoes
SarcasticSteven (12:09:23 AM): and rappelling off next to each other
SarcasticSteven (12:09:43 AM): but we're coordinating the places we plant our feet
SarcasticSteven (12:10:02 AM): so we're going to slowly but steadily paint an obscene picture on the wall
DIslam (12:10:19 AM): why does it have to be obscene?
SarcasticSteven (12:10:42 AM): because right after, a massive orgy is going to be held in the courtyard
SarcasticSteven (12:11:01 AM): and while there will be hot people there, they might need some further imagery to make it effective
DIslam (12:11:04 AM): can i come to videotape?
SarcasticSteven (12:11:07 AM): sure
SarcasticSteven (12:11:26 AM): you can help with the paint application, the rope tying, the videotaping, or the lovemaking
SarcasticSteven (12:11:31 AM): oh, the sweet sweet lovemaking
DIslam (12:11:45 AM): lol
DIslam (12:11:50 AM): i just want to videotape
SarcasticSteven (12:11:58 AM): sure
DIslam (12:12:08 AM): what kind of film?
SarcasticSteven (12:12:18 AM): the kind that traps people's souls

ecargnmyst (11:22:33 PM): hows ur studying going
SarcasticSteven (11:22:56 PM): well, i have my notes splayed out in front of me, if that counts for anything
ecargnmyst (11:23:16 PM): class notes?
ecargnmyst (11:23:17 PM): >.<
SarcasticSteven (11:23:24 PM): homework notes
SarcasticSteven (11:23:28 PM): and i have the study sheet
SarcasticSteven (11:23:38 PM): with their powers combined
SarcasticSteven (11:23:41 PM): I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!
SarcasticSteven (11:23:52 PM): *background* goooo planet!

firedemon417 (8:39:28 PM): you missed it..
SarcasticSteven (8:39:52 PM): damnit, you saw the puddle, didn't you?
SarcasticSteven (8:39:57 PM): i was meaning to clean up!
SarcasticSteven (8:40:03 PM): they just ran out of toilet paper!
firedemon417 (8:40:11 PM): no, i mean in history, but okay..
firedemon417 (8:44:23 PM):
Plafker: Nowadays, parents are giving their daughters boob jobs for graduation. Back when I was your age, girls would get nose jobs on their sweet 16.
*Class laughs*
Plafker: Yeah..you're all looking at my nose now right? Yeah, I would too
Hector: Not exactly...
Plafker: Wait... *Puts hands over chest* NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! No plastic surgery here!
*Class bursts out laughing*
Plafker: Wow, this just got uncomfortable...(Plafker, as in Ms. Plafker, my history teacher)

HatefulFrenchy (5:37:31 PM): i thought all ur people stay home in celebrate
SarcasticSteven (5:37:39 PM): oh, there's plenty of celebration
SarcasticSteven (5:37:41 PM): in my pants

HeadlessRoland12 (6:37:29 PM): why else would any one construct an emotionless robot?
SarcasticSteven (6:37:34 PM): for sex?

iii THEPOPE iii (10:41:42 PM): ive always wanted to sleep naked
iii THEPOPE iii (10:41:47 PM): i heard its pretty cool
SarcasticSteven (10:41:53 PM): ...from who?
SarcasticSteven (10:42:00 PM): how'd that ever come up?
SarcasticSteven (10:42:16 PM): "oh man, that curve on the physics test was pretty cool."
SarcasticSteven (10:42:21 PM): "yea. so is sleeping naked"

SarcasticSteven (10:11:18 PM): though i usually will just type CACAW
iii THEPOPE iii (10:11:20 PM): is that the noise you make before you pee?

iii THEPOPE iii (10:11:26 PM): = D
SarcasticSteven (10:11:28 PM): it's more of a zipping sound
iii THEPOPE iii (10:11:32 PM): ok just makin sure
SarcasticSteven (10:11:38 PM): that'd be freaky, though
iii THEPOPE iii (10:11:53 PM): thatd be SO funny. id die laughing.
SarcasticSteven (10:12:00 PM): imagine standing at the urinal, when this guy walks up to you and goes "CACAW!" with his penis out

iii THEPOPE iii (8:54:31 PM): i suppose wellesley
iii THEPOPE iii (8:54:37 PM): altho im considering barnard heavily
SarcasticSteven (8:55:07 PM): what made you choose that route?
iii THEPOPE iii (8:56:02 PM): why? bc am through w/ sperms
SarcasticSteven (8:56:13 PM): even my sperm?
SarcasticSteven (8:56:20 PM): *wiggle wiggle*

iii THEPOPE iii (10:35:57 PM): do you kno anythin botu government censorship?
SarcasticSteven (10:36:37 PM): the president closes his door whenever the hot intern walks in for a reason
SarcasticSteven (10:36:40 PM): that's censorship
SarcasticSteven (10:36:57 PM): i ought to be able to see bush banging his intern on top of the table
SarcasticSteven (10:37:15 PM): how do i know he isn't making deals with a terrorist in a hot intern costume?
SarcasticSteven (10:37:29 PM): i demand to know! it's my right to know!
SarcasticSteven (10:37:40 PM): DAMNIT I WANT TO SEE THAT PORN!
SarcasticSteven (10:37:42 PM): *ahem*

iii THEPOPE iii (6:24:41 PM): you like boobs? LOLs trust me i have a pt..

iii THEPOPE iii (8:29:20 PM): i always end up talkin to you when im hungry

iii THEPOPE iii (2:03:59 PM): i hate ABs
iii THEPOPE iii (2:04:05 PM): abs should be shot or somethin ahah
SarcasticSteven (2:04:08 PM): lol
iii THEPOPE iii (2:04:19 PM): selfish bitches
SarcasticSteven (2:04:22 PM): but then i'd have the most chance of surviving a blood transfusion
SarcasticSteven (2:04:35 PM): and a greater chance of me being able to use my blood to kill people
SarcasticSteven (2:05:13 PM): if i planted my blood inside their blood stream, it'd coagulate
SarcasticSteven (2:05:18 PM): and they'd diiiiiieeeeeeeee
SarcasticSteven (2:05:21 PM): painfully, too
SarcasticSteven (2:05:26 PM): but that's only if they weren't ab
SarcasticSteven (2:05:42 PM): so i guess i'd have to kill all abs out there
iii THEPOPE iii (2:05:46 PM): you should be like..banned from the military lols

iii THEPOPE iii (10:22:10 PM): im on my dads comp
iii THEPOPE iii (10:23:22 PM): yea cos mine is infected w....
iii THEPOPE iii (10:23:23 PM): PORN
SarcasticSteven (10:23:32 PM): it's your fault
SarcasticSteven (10:23:42 PM): it's like pringles
SarcasticSteven (10:23:45 PM): once you pop, you just can't stop

JoJoDaPinguin (7:54:45 PM): heard you asked yi if he was doing anything monday
SarcasticSteven (7:54:54 PM): yea, i was planning to take him to a five star restaurant
SarcasticSteven (7:54:59 PM): followed up by some steamy sex
JoJoDaPinguin (7:55:19 PM): for valentine's, eh?
JoJoDaPinguin (7:55:21 PM): aw you win
SarcasticSteven (7:55:34 PM): but i saw that my masculine charms weren't getting to him
SarcasticSteven (7:55:46 PM): especially when i made thrusting motions as i mentioned sex

SarcasticSteven (7:55:57 PM): so he won't be with me monday
JoJoDaPinguin (7:56:07 PM): haha
JoJoDaPinguin (7:56:33 PM): woohoo, he's mine then
SarcasticSteven (7:56:42 PM): be gentle
SarcasticSteven (7:56:53 PM): unless he's into that sort of thing
JoJoDaPinguin (7:57:30 PM): with you, maybe

SarcasticSteven (9:22:55 PM): *pokes the pillsbury doughboy again*
SarcasticSteven (9:22:57 PM): teehee
SarcasticSteven (9:23:02 PM): or was that like
SarcasticSteven (9:23:04 PM): hoohoo
JoJoDaPinguin (9:23:15 PM): isn't yi the pillbury doughboy?
SarcasticSteven (9:23:27 PM): but he doesn't make any sounds when i poke him
SarcasticSteven (9:23:41 PM): other than, "what the fuck are you doing?"

SarcasticSteven (2:27:16 AM): hmm
SarcasticSteven (2:27:30 AM): is your skin turning yellow(er)?
SarcasticSteven (2:27:33 AM): are you feeling queasy?
SarcasticSteven (2:27:37 AM): is blood seeping from your pores?
SarcasticSteven (2:27:45 AM): IS AN ALIEN POPPING OUT FROM YOUR BELLY?
SarcasticSteven (2:27:56 AM): if not, then you're imagining things
SarcasticSteven (2:28:00 AM): go back to your all-nighter
SarcasticSteven (2:28:14 AM): *pat pat*

ProdigalElement4 (12:56:07 AM): u are back eh?
SarcasticSteven (12:56:14 AM): yes
SarcasticSteven (12:56:15 AM): back again
SarcasticSteven (12:56:19 AM): steven's back
SarcasticSteven (12:56:26 AM): tell a friend and i'll slit your throat

Laxori666 (8:18:52 PM): the jig is up, i know you're not steven
SarcasticSteven (8:19:03 PM): *gasp*
Laxori666 (8:19:04 PM): you must be some haxxor that got into his poor account
Laxori666 (8:19:11 PM): and told all his friends that you are now at this sn
Laxori666 (8:19:15 PM): i see you duplicated his profile pretty well too
SarcasticSteven (8:19:15 PM): next you'll claim that i'm not sarcastic
SarcasticSteven (8:19:23 PM): then what'll i be?
SarcasticSteven (8:19:28 PM): just a poor hack
SarcasticSteven (8:19:30 PM): no pun intended

loonymel (9:21:16 PM): really like ur porn huh?
SarcasticSteven (9:21:32 PM): it's essential

MoMan myBuddy (6:51:19 PM): haha. CASTRATION!! The only proven way to turn bad boys good.
SarcasticSteven (6:51:36 PM): and nipple shock torture
MoMan myBuddy (6:52:18 PM): ::snicker:: you sure that wouldn't have opposite effects?
SarcasticSteven (6:52:21 PM): *smirk*
MoMan myBuddy (6:52:32 PM): ooo you are very bad, very very bad.
SarcasticSteven (6:52:34 PM): grab a boy off the street and we'll find out...

MoMan myBuddy (5:39:30 PM): 🙁 it's so hard having a penis isn't it.
SarcasticSteven (5:39:42 PM): yea, it is
SarcasticSteven (5:39:50 PM): i've always gotta be watching out for random people kicking me

SarcasticSteven (5:40:01 PM): you don't know how vulnerable we feel
MoMan myBuddy (5:40:04 PM): lol. on account of your penis??
SarcasticSteven (5:40:07 PM): YES
MoMan myBuddy (5:40:08 PM): i didn't realize it was so bad!
SarcasticSteven (5:40:12 PM): OH GOD YES
SarcasticSteven (5:40:14 PM): *ahem*
MoMan myBuddy (5:40:26 PM): lol
MoMan myBuddy (5:41:14 PM): You could always get it removed if it's that bad ...
SarcasticSteven (5:41:43 PM): no, it hasn't come of age yet
SarcasticSteven (5:41:49 PM): so perhaps there's something i'm missing out on
SarcasticSteven (5:41:57 PM): and if i had no penis, i'd definitely be missing out on it
SarcasticSteven (5:42:06 PM): whereas there's always a small glimmer of hope as it stands
SarcasticSteven (5:42:09 PM): no pun intended
SarcasticSteven (5:42:50 PM): but enough about my cock
SarcasticSteven (5:42:52 PM): how're you doing?

SarcasticSteven (9:52:18 PM): can you send the email then?
SarcasticSteven (9:52:26 PM): 1pm tuesday, include phone numbers
SarcasticSteven (9:52:52 PM): i would, but i don't have the phone numbers
SarcasticSteven (9:52:58 PM): and my rectum is having spasms
MoMan myBuddy (9:54:26 PM): .... WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION STEVE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from SarcasticSteven (9:54:26 PM): A-pooping we will go, a-pooping we will go, hi ho the derio, a-pooping we will go...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SarcasticSteven (5:02:01 PM): in the fine print, you have to sell your firstborn to wordpress
SarcasticSteven (5:02:22 PM): but i think i have the claim to it already, so don't worry
SarcasticSteven (5:02:31 PM): i'll take care of that
MoMan myBuddy (5:02:51 PM): haha. good. are you sure you have first born? i thought i promised it to someone else ... i hope they're twins
SarcasticSteven (5:03:12 PM): any one will do, i suppose
MoMan myBuddy (5:03:27 PM): you're so accomadating
SarcasticSteven (5:03:54 PM): it's cause i'm not delivering
MoMan myBuddy (5:05:19 PM): i should make you sit with me in delivery and crush all the bones in your hand
SarcasticSteven (5:05:56 PM): are you ready for me to be exposed to that kind of nudity?
MoMan myBuddy (5:06:35 PM): oo point taken
MoMan myBuddy (5:06:39 PM): we'll blindfold you!
SarcasticSteven (5:06:47 PM): ...aww
SarcasticSteven (5:07:11 PM): people would think something really kinky was going on
SarcasticSteven (5:07:44 PM): all we'd have to do is wear leather, and poeple would freak

MoMan myBuddy (8:31:22 PM): we will overlook the rest of the times and focus solely on the more flattering moments
SarcasticSteven (8:31:34 PM): *strings them all together to make a nice happy necklace*
SarcasticSteven (8:32:04 PM): i've got at least five seconds worth, which is about as long as my brain will stay focused on something
SarcasticSteven (8:32:11 PM): other than porn, that is

SarcasticSteven (8:58:17 PM): my family takes care of the food
MoMan myBuddy (8:58:50 PM): and for taht we are all appreciative because if you weighed any less you could be a stunt double for those 3rd world starvation commercials
SarcasticSteven (8:59:06 PM): yea, seriously
SarcasticSteven (8:59:16 PM): i'm glad i'm not in swim gym anymore
SarcasticSteven (8:59:18 PM): it's embarassing
MoMan myBuddy (8:59:52 PM): ::pat pat:: it could be worse
MoMan myBuddy (9:00:10 PM): you could have a viscious hard on the whole time and everyone could point and giggle
SarcasticSteven (9:00:18 PM): or stare in wonder and awe

SarcasticSteven (9:05:47 PM): we should stop talking about me fondling a random stranger's breasts on the train during rush hour
MoMan myBuddy (9:05:50 PM): haha. would there be "happy noises?"
SarcasticSteven (9:06:00 PM): from me, at least

SarcasticSteven (9:55:44 PM): when did you call?
MoMan myBuddy (9:55:55 PM): aw. I called around 4.16
SarcasticSteven (9:55:57 PM): i wonder how many sentences with call i can make
MoMan myBuddy (9:56:12 PM): use the phrase "call girl" and I may have to hurt you

MoMan myBuddy (6:56:46 PM): yes. that was a good plan. you are a smart young lad and will go far in this world!
SarcasticSteven (6:56:56 PM): or at least until i get laid
SarcasticSteven (6:57:24 PM): then i'll kill myself, as my mission in life has been successful
MoMan myBuddy (6:57:36 PM): no no, not until you've had the crazy threesome!
SarcasticSteven (6:57:42 PM): oh yea
SarcasticSteven (6:57:49 PM): there's always the prospect of more sex
MoMan myBuddy (6:58:28 PM): yea. it's what keeps most of us alive 'til tomorrow
MoMan myBuddy (6:58:35 PM): or would if, you know, we had sex to start with

SarcasticSteven (7:07:34 PM): but really, anybody in a bar who isn't a pervert is packing heat and is just biding his time

NaMeeTeR (9:53:37 PM): i want to bang jay sean
NaMeeTeR (9:53:40 PM): he is SO hot
SarcasticSteven (9:53:50 PM): correct im window, right?
NaMeeTeR (9:54:01 PM): oh wait, no it isnt

SarcasticSteven (6:42:44 PM): the same thing i do every night, pinky
SarcasticSteven (6:42:49 PM): TRY TO MASTURBATE THE WORLD

SarcasticSteven (6:53:20 PM): you should try
SarcasticSteven (6:53:22 PM): and come in naked
SarcasticSteven (6:53:32 PM): with your notes scribed onto your skin
SarcasticSteven (6:53:40 PM): so he sees you playing with your cock
SarcasticSteven (6:53:45 PM): and he's like "yi, what the fuck are you doing?"
SarcasticSteven (6:53:52 PM): and you'll be like "i'm checking my notes"

SarcasticSteven (9:34:37 PM): think of it like this
SarcasticSteven (9:35:00 PM): you're taking a piss
SarcasticSteven (9:35:12 PM): you've got a monstrous penis, so you fire it more or less in a straight line
SarcasticSteven (9:35:13 PM): now
SarcasticSteven (9:35:16 PM): bear with me
ProdigalElement4 (9:35:22 PM): rawr
SarcasticSteven (9:35:25 PM): you're feeling antsy
SarcasticSteven (9:35:34 PM): so you start jumping up and down as you water your toilet bowl
SarcasticSteven (9:35:46 PM): that movement is perpendicular to the piss
SarcasticSteven (9:35:53 PM): that's a transverse wave being formed
SarcasticSteven (9:35:55 PM): however
SarcasticSteven (9:36:04 PM): you then feel the urge to practice some basic sex motions
SarcasticSteven (9:36:12 PM): so you start thrusting back and forth, quagmire style
SarcasticSteven (9:36:22 PM): that movement is in the same direction as the piss
SarcasticSteven (9:36:28 PM): that's a longitudinal wave being formed
SarcasticSteven (9:36:56 PM): makes sense?
ProdigalElement4 (9:38:11 PM): yep
ProdigalElement4 (9:38:13 PM): hehe
ProdigalElement4 (9:38:22 PM): u make learning fun, quagmire style
SarcasticSteven (9:38:24 PM): i like unorthadox explanations
SarcasticSteven (9:38:32 PM): but i can't ever be a teacher
SarcasticSteven (9:38:39 PM): i'd be fired once i started making thrusting motions

ProdigalElement4 (9:56:19 PM): if ur taking on a badass like blade
ProdigalElement4 (9:56:26 PM): y would u fight him one on one?
ProdigalElement4 (9:56:33 PM): y not mob him if uve got the man power?
SarcasticSteven (9:57:10 PM): because you want that ass all for yourself

ProdigalElement4 (10:10:49 PM): make some obscene noise or commetn
SarcasticSteven (10:10:52 PM): umm
SarcasticSteven (10:10:59 PM): boogabooga?
ProdigalElement4 (10:11:05 PM): keep going
SarcasticSteven (10:11:16 PM): boogabooga?
ProdigalElement4 (10:11:22 PM): change it
SarcasticSteven (10:11:34 PM): i did
SarcasticSteven (10:11:36 PM): it's backwards
SarcasticSteven (10:11:41 PM): not boogabooga
SarcasticSteven (10:11:43 PM): but boogabooga
ProdigalElement4 (10:11:49 PM): wtf?
ProdigalElement4 (10:11:53 PM): its not backwards....
SarcasticSteven (10:12:00 PM): like
SarcasticSteven (10:12:03 PM): you could have yili
SarcasticSteven (10:12:05 PM): or liyi
SarcasticSteven (10:12:11 PM): it's boogabooga
SarcasticSteven (10:12:13 PM): or boogabooga
ProdigalElement4 (10:12:14 PM): oh, i thought u meant
ProdigalElement4 (10:12:19 PM): agoobagoob
SarcasticSteven (10:12:27 PM): HAH! NOW WHO'S THE IDIOT!
SarcasticSteven (10:12:37 PM): agoobagoob...seriously...
ProdigalElement4 (10:12:53 PM): this is like talking to smarterchild

ProdigalElement4 (11:55:50 PM): powell is like a rocket laucher
ProdigalElement4 (11:56:15 PM): he can wear his wife like a glove
SarcasticSteven (11:56:32 PM): he could probably kill her with enough force
SarcasticSteven (11:57:20 PM): i can read the headlines now
SarcasticSteven (11:57:30 PM): "man stabs wife in heart with penis through vagina"

SarcasticSteven (11:57:47 PM): i think one of my friend's english teachers actually marked down grades whenever he saw a particularly bad literary device
SarcasticSteven (11:57:52 PM): so one kid ended up with a k-

ProdigalElement4 (4:03:39 PM): hey
ProdigalElement4 (4:03:39 PM): what happened in comp and physics?
SarcasticSteven (4:03:52 PM): there was wild raunchy sex
SarcasticSteven (4:05:10 PM): and the physics test was moved to next week
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:16 PM): REALLY??
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:21 PM): next week????
SarcasticSteven (4:05:34 PM): yep
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:37 PM): AWESOME
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:44 PM): its blowing my mind
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:55 PM): im like jskdfhljkndsjkvnkjclxvuyhjfhtgjnmvbljka
SarcasticSteven (4:05:57 PM): and imagine if you were having an orgasm at the same time
SarcasticSteven (4:06:02 PM): that's how it was like in class today
SarcasticSteven (4:06:05 PM): and you missed it

SarcasticSteven (9:33:33 PM): i'm not even a fairy anymore
SarcasticSteven (9:33:38 PM): i'm like
SarcasticSteven (9:33:51 PM): snoopy
ProdigalElement4 (9:34:58 PM): nah, u can be the fairy queen
SarcasticSteven (9:35:08 PM): wooo
SarcasticSteven (9:35:19 PM): i wanna be a slutty fairy queen

QnzFinest651 (10:52:07 PM): who knew i could talk that long to a girl
SarcasticSteven (10:52:25 PM): are you getting sex out of it?
QnzFinest651 (10:53:20 PM): nah
SarcasticSteven (10:53:56 PM): darn
SarcasticSteven (10:54:00 PM): can i get some sex out of it?
SarcasticSteven (10:54:10 PM): just say "i know this really buff asian dude with a huge cock"
QnzFinest651 (10:56:07 PM): lol
QnzFinest651 (10:56:15 PM): one of the 7 wonders of the world
QnzFinest651 (10:56:18 PM): an asian w/ a big cock

QnzFinest651 (10:56:33 PM): and i found it

QnzFinest651 (6:07:20 PM): ur a very wise one indeed
SarcasticSteven (6:07:31 PM): so i'm a big buff wise asian guy with a huge cock now

QnzFinest651 (10:52:04 PM): no, im going to be like, "yumeris, want penis?"
SarcasticSteven (10:52:35 PM): and she'll be like "oh man, brian, i've been dying to have your cock ever since 8th grade"
SarcasticSteven (10:52:54 PM): then she whips out a katana and slices your dick off
SarcasticSteven (10:53:05 PM): "NOW IT'S MINE!"

QnzFinest651 (10:51:07 PM): i luv u
QnzFinest651 (10:51:09 PM): u luv me
QnzFinest651 (10:51:15 PM): we're a happy fam-i-ly
SarcasticSteven (10:51:16 PM): with a great big hug
SarcasticSteven (10:51:19 PM): and a kiss from me to you
SarcasticSteven (10:51:29 PM): won't you say you'd assfuck me too?
SarcasticSteven (10:51:34 PM): *bestiality!*

SarcasticSteven (11:33:12 PM): so just go there and ask questions
SarcasticSteven (11:33:15 PM): are there lots of hot chicks?
SarcasticSteven (11:33:17 PM): YES
SarcasticSteven (11:33:21 PM): can i bang them now?
SarcasticSteven (11:33:24 PM): DO YOU HAVE MONEY?
SarcasticSteven (11:33:26 PM): no.
SarcasticSteven (11:33:38 PM): TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH

SarcasticSteven (7:29:17 PM): "oh my god, look at those shoes! bang me now!"

SarcasticSteven (6:00:49 PM): it wouldn't come out
SarcasticSteven (6:00:51 PM): i was like
SarcasticSteven (6:00:54 PM): ARRRRRGGHHHH
SarcasticSteven (6:00:56 PM): but no deal
SarcasticSteven (6:00:59 PM): it's fine now

QnzFinest651 (1:51:43 PM): imperialism
SarcasticSteven (1:53:07 PM): imperialism: europeans came to china, got them stoned, the fucked them and took their shit
QnzFinest651 (1:53:23 PM): lol
QnzFinest651 (1:53:26 PM): this is u.s. history
SarcasticSteven (1:53:29 PM): oh

SarcasticSteven (6:16:43 PM): the teacher wants you to make those connections
SarcasticSteven (6:16:53 PM): don't just say "the chick is hot"
SarcasticSteven (6:17:02 PM): say "the chick is hot, which is why i want to bang her"
SarcasticSteven (6:17:47 PM): while it may be assumed that some banging would be going on if you were horny and she was hot, you can make a much more emotional submission if you make it an essay
SarcasticSteven (6:18:37 PM): the reader should be able to figure out what's what if you've done a good job with it
SarcasticSteven (6:18:48 PM): and it makes for a more sophisticated paper
SarcasticSteven (6:19:59 PM): instead of a current events article with Who? a hot chick What? sex Where? under the slide in the playground, you could say "There was a hot chick who i banged under the slide in the playground"
SarcasticSteven (6:20:27 PM): though a current events article about your sexual exploits would be kinda odd
QnzFinest651 (6:20:31 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (6:20:36 PM): and you'd probably be writing it from juvie

surfur2704 (8:40:14 PM): buff AND beautiful?
surfur2704 (8:40:18 PM): thats like, jesus as a girl

surfur2704 (10:33:13 PM): u kno its all a scam
SarcasticSteven (10:33:18 PM): yea
SarcasticSteven (10:33:58 PM): but just a small payment of 800 dollars in unmarked, small demonimation bills could bring my love to me!
SarcasticSteven (10:34:04 PM): SAAAASSSSHAAAAA!!!!!!

TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:49:13 PM): i have a 40 year old niece
SarcasticSteven (8:49:39 PM): i have a penis
SarcasticSteven (8:49:41 PM): now we're even

BeingOfChaos (7:40:10 PM): like, you can have a class Archer
BeingOfChaos (7:40:14 PM): who can have a method of shooting
BeingOfChaos (7:40:23 PM): and be a subclass of fighter who is a subclass of person
BeingOfChaos (7:40:29 PM): and have a subclass of lOngbowman
BeingOfChaos (7:40:49 PM): and in your final class called game youc an cretae the classa rcher and tell it shoto
BeingOfChaos (7:41:02 PM): andin order too runit you put void main in 0one of your classes and that runs
TactOps88 (7:41:05 PM):
http://www.kenn.com/play/funny/pancake_bunny.jpg

Bunnijunkie (10:42:22 PM): "Steven, you are an amazing writer and cheerleader, your ideas brighten up the day"

Coors lite v2003 (10:54:16 PM): lemme ask friend
Coors lite v2003 is away at 10:58:13 PM.
TactOps88 (11:20:20 PM): well? what did the friend say about the global sheet?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from Coors lite v2003 (11:20:21 PM): ugh...took me til sunday nite to realize i have $|-|it loads of hw....long nite ahead.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TactOps88 (11:31:49 PM): come baaaaack
TactOps88 (11:32:13 PM): for future reference, i usually keep the sound on when i'm away
TactOps88 (11:32:28 PM): just in case someone is dying and needs me to call 911 for them, i won't be condemning them to DEATH
TactOps88 (11:32:45 PM): death, you hear me? D E A T H
TactOps88 (11:33:03 PM): if you're reading this late at night...sweet dreams
Coors lite v2003 returned at 11:33:32 PM.

Phalanx646 (10:55:39 PM): ok Ben had a hugeass crush on shishi wang
Phalanx646 (10:55:47 PM): and dreamt about her breasts every nite
TactOps88 (10:56:14 PM): considering there's a fairly large portion of females in this chatroom, maybe we should change topics
chikknluvr (10:56:21 PM): yes
howslife49 (10:56:22 PM): yea
bridget WTF (10:56:25 PM): yessir
DINO5551 (10:56:27 PM): yup
Sciencegirl159 (10:56:34 PM): i agree
JaDePh0eNiX (10:56:38 PM): yep

TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:15:36 PM): once jr year is over am sooo going back to a job
SarcasticSteven (8:15:45 PM): back to a job?
SarcasticSteven (8:15:49 PM): which one did you have?
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:34 PM): for ..mad $$ lols
SarcasticSteven (8:17:40 PM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (8:17:44 PM): money...
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:46 PM): but i did two kids at once
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:49 PM): so i deserved it
What a difference a single line can make.
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:15:36 PM): once jr year is over am sooo going back to a job
SarcasticSteven (8:15:45 PM): back to a job?
SarcasticSteven (8:15:49 PM): which one did you have?
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:30 PM): lols i tutored
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:34 PM): for ..mad $$ lols
SarcasticSteven (8:17:40 PM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (8:17:44 PM): money...
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:46 PM): but i did two kids at once
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:49 PM): so i deserved it

27Aug/041

Here comes the train! Open wide!

Today's subway trip was even more eventful than usual.

I saw one of the most bizarre advertisements while I was on the F train. It was a healthcare ad, but not promoting an insurance company. It listed ten ways to make sure you have a healtheir life. I took a picture, but it came out blurry (the train was in motion, and I neglected to set the camera to its Motion setting). It read: Live Longer. Live Healthier. Take Care New York.

  1. Have a regular doctor or other health care provider.
  2. Be tobacco-free.
  3. Keep your heart healthy.
  4. Know your HIV status.
  5. Get help for depression.
  6. Life free of dependency on alcohol and drugs.
  7. Get checked for cancer.
  8. Get the immunizations you need.
  9. Make your home safe and healthy
  10. Have a healthy baby.

I can't believe these two got past the company's ad review panel. Firstly, not all of us have depression. Listening to a motivational speaker tell us how great we are is more likely to inflate our egos, in which case we'd have to visit demotivational speaker to get back in balance.

Second, I'm all for being healthy and living longer, but if it means I have to have a child, forget it. Let's forget for a moment that I'm physically incapable of giving birth (they didn't explicitly say it, so I'll ignore it). A baby is just as likely to kill me as it is to make me live longer. Yea, I might eventually get a child who'll take care of me in my old age, but considering how fucked up I am, I'm just as likely to get a child who'll castrate me when I'm asleep. Until I've got a wife to make sure that no severing goes on, I'll pass on the child.

The other event involved a typical meek Asian woman. She looked of meekness, but that impression dissipated for a moment as the train pulled into a stop. A guy on the bench near her got up and left, leaving the seat open. Unlike many meek people, she darted towards the seat, only to find that a guy snatched it up before her.

Already uncomfortable, she tried to minimize the embarrasment by continuing her walk, acting like she meant to move somewhere else on the train. She was right in between the two doors as the wave of commuters entered the train, and she was consequently paralyzed as the mob surrounded her and filled in the empty spaces. Looking very confused, she reached for the nearest pole only to find that there was a lady on her side of it taking up the whole pole (her leaning on it makes sliding your hand around it difficult and intrusive). Too shy to ask her to move, the Asian lady resigns herself to awkwardly clutching the armrest at the end of the bench to keep steady. Ironically, the armrest is right next to the man who originally took the seat she wanted. One of the most amusing things I've seen in quite some time.

Edit: Ask, and (for a small fee,) you shall receive.

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26Aug/041

“Again, I laughed at the expense of Timmy.”

Proof that creating strange, longwinded works of literature is my specialty. After seeing the notable swap listings, I wanted to see if my creativity and ability to fluff up a computer programming job could net me an invite, and it sure did. I had an account, but I was able to get accounts for my brother and cousin as well.

I didn't forget about your invites, Kate, but I wanted to test my skills, was bored at work, and think of it this way: there's lots of cool stuff on that list you could get yourself! It's best if you check the list when it's not prime time; you get a bit more time to get that first post in.

Edit: I actually didn't intend for the listing to be shaped the way it did. I wanted it to follow in the fashion of the first paragraph, and put in Timmy as a one-shot joke. Then I felt that the joke could be followed up, and oddly enough, once I left the game description, I thought that it would actually be a pretty original post if I kept it up. And originality is definitely what people are looking for on that board. It worked out like a lot of my other writing; I just went with what seemed like a good idea at the time (less editing for this one though).

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25Aug/040

What’s the difference? More packet collision!

I've noticed a number of times that my social situation in CTY was the complete opposite of my position in school, or the rest of my life, for that matter. Outside CTY, I wasn't unpopular, but I wasn't exactly popular either. I had acquaintences in most of my classes, but no steady group of strong friends. Perhaps one of the most startling differences was that at school, most of my friends were guys, while at CTY, most of my friends were girls. I lived with a whole hall full of guys, each year being fairly good friends with some of them, but my main social group was heavily composed of females.

I entertained the notion that this was a purely hormonal bias; I'm a heterosexual male, and hanging out with females would be preferable to hanging out with guys. Yet at the same time, so many guys I know that are equally or more hormonally driven than myself hang out with guys most of the time. I somehow doubt that the majority of those guys are homosexual, and also doubt that the majority of those guys are attached. If that's the case, why do they prefer to befriend one gender, while I preferred befriending the other?

I then started thinking about the people in those groups. I can't say what motivated other people to create single-gendered groups, but at school, they were formed out of a common loneliness. The shy people stuck together, and became not so shy in the process. I don't see any of them outside of school, but that may be because I don't need their companionship outside of school. When I'm not in school, I have a larger group of friends, as I suspect they do too. I also have other things to occupy myself with, as I suspect they do too.

Yet at CTY, things seem to change. There's still a sense of loneliness in your squirrel year, which is what causes people to form friendships with their hall. Being that their halls are single-gendered, they cling onto those friends, and perhaps add a couple new ones that are found in class or through the other half of the hall. As time goes on, you develop stronger bonds with those friends, and next year, the friends that you kept introduce you to new friends, ideally with you ending up as a nomore with a whole menagerie of friends.

The socially lazy person I am, I skipped that squirrel year step. I found reading books to be easier than making friends, and as such I spent more time reading books than Ann did. I read during meals, I read during break, I read during the dances, for gods sake! I loitered at the dance for one evening, and barring the final American Pie, spent the rest of the dances in my room reading a book. While that's a testament to the power of literature, it was also a testament to my social laziness: the reluctance to make an effort to put oneself in or to maintain a social confrontation (I made up the phrase myself, but unbeknownst to me, someone else did it too).

That said, I'm not sure what would've happened if she hadn't stepped in. Despite having supposedly anti-social moods, I've never seen her in one, though perhaps that's because I couldn't be in her dorm. She acted as a hub, and a very good one; she would seem to naturally draw in people, which made my social life a lot easier. Some might say that having a whole group of other people would dampen one's friendship, but I ended up liking everyone she attracted. Interestingly, none of those people were hubs themselves, so perhaps hubs only attract shier and socially lazier people.

Yet hubs seem to diffuse a genial warmth that makes people around them open up. Perhaps that warmth is the prerequisite to be a hub, not the benefit that comes along with the position. Perhaps the shier people feel more comfortable talking with the hubs, and therefore develop the bonds of friendship faster. The hubs are able to start up conversation and because of the warmth, invite responses more effectively than other people can, removing awkward situations and presenting the solution for socially lazy people.

So after my squirrel year of CTY, I hung out with a hub, and either the hub or myself attracted another hub. The first hub wasn't there the year after, so I hung out with that second hub. As that hub drifted away from me and the first one returned, I went and hung out with the first hub. All this hub bouncing was done while keeping in contact with both hubs, and because of all the hubness going around, I was able to meet some great people without straining my social willpower reserve too far. I might not have realized it at the time, but because of the hubs, I was able to fully enjoy my time at CTY, and continue enjoying the friendships that have formed because of them. This is my formal thank-you. I owe everything to you.

More reasons why one should get Firefox, though this one has reasons you won't find on the official site.

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24Aug/042

It’s just a post to the left, and a switch to the right…

Thanks to a fellow poster on the Lifelesspeople forum, I was able to obtain a Gmail account. All I had to do was write up a small dissertation about why I wanted the account, and prayed that the donator would select me (which he did). So I switched from thelonehwguy@yahoo.com to SarcasticEccentric@Gmail.com , which seems a bit more stylish and humorous, despite the obscene number of c's in the address.

I was typing up a post at work, but it seemed too straightforward, didn't follow a winding track, and was too obvious, all of these things that would not mesh well with the other musings on the site. So it's out the window, and hopefully I'll have something more interesting for you soon.

Edit: Anway, Gmail is hotness. I'm monitoring my Yahoo account because I'm sure some mail will go there that I want at my Gmail account, but I've for the most part moved over. I sent out the mass emails notifying everyone I ever knew of the switch, leading to 22 "What the fuck were you thinking? There's no such email address!" returned emails. Can't blame me for trying.

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21Aug/043

Oh, the satisfaction…

Sheer utter hotness is the only phrase that can be used to describe this site right now. Through liberal use of hacks, plugins and template modifications, I've made WordPress to have everything I've wanted in a blogging system, and then some.

21Aug/041

Now you see it, now you don’t!

After a couple mentions on the Lifelesspeople board, I decided to look into WordPress. And, as you've no doubt noticed, I've defected over from Movable Type to WordPress. Sorry Yolanda, but I doubt I'm coming back. I found some nice stylesheets, I like the interface, TrackBack actually works, better category system...

It was easy getting everything installed, but a hassle getting everything working. There was a conflict with the url being used for the generated pages, so I ended up putting the WP files in the root directory instead of in its own folder. I can't count the number of times I deleted and remade the MySQL directories to start fresh...

So the address is the same, but hopefully the quality of the blog will be better. I'm a bit tired, because I've also been fooling around with the MP3 player that arrived today (way ahead of schedule), and I tend to get wrapped up in what I do. Thank god it's the weekend...expect a post tomorrow.

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