My penchant for unnecessarily long product descriptions started when I hawked my wares in WoW, but recently I’ve found that the tendency carries over to my eBay listings as well.

Fantasy games are supposed to be fantastical. World of Warcraft lets you ride around on huge bats, mechanical striders and more, but you never get a sense of accomplishment because they’re mythical creatures that you’ve never seen before. Who knows what huge bats are like? Maybe they’re actually really tame and love being ridden. Where’s the challenge in that?

What you need is a mount that you understand, a mount that you can proudly show off and say “Yea, I caught this the other day. Oh, those giant claws and teeth? No big deal, I was able to wrestle him down with my BEAR hands! Oh ho ho ho!”

If you haven’t guessed already, what I’m offering you is The Red Bearon, a rare card from the World of Warcraft TCG’s Drums of War set. Now when I say rare, I mean rare: the chance you’ll find one of these bad boys is just 1 in every 363 booster packs you open. Let me do the math for you: if you were to try to farm this, it would cost you over $900.

So save your real-life gold and plop down a bid on this real-life card. Not only do you get a sweet card for the TCG game (come on, an armored bear?) but you also get an unlock code for an in-game bear mount. Whether you’re gnome, blood elf or orc, you’re bound to look badass when friends and foes alike see you strolling down the thoroughfare with this bad boy: http://www.wowhead.com/item=49282#screenshots:id=144648 .

“But why would I bother this this mount,” you say, “when I already have one I love?” Well bucko, if you’re already happily mounted then I don’t know why you’re looking on eBay for other mounts but I’m not here to judge. I will say that if you personally don’t care about riding this sick bear around Azeroth, then maybe you know a friend who does. A friend with lots of gold burning a hole in his pocket. A friend you could sell this mount to, because the item this card gives you is bind-on-use. Sell it at your leisure, or just dangle it above your enemies’ heads as they grovel at your feet and offer you exorbitant amounts of gold for it!

Of course, if you’re already rolling in dough, you can still lavishly flaunt it without opening a trade window. Using this mount will count towards the Mountain ‘o Mounts achievement, an easy way of saying “Yes, I do have a veritable mountain of bears. Don’t you?”

Bid on this now and you’ll be entered in the running for The Red Bearon card in perfect condition, unlock code intact and unscratched. To preserve its integrity on the long journey to your mailbox, I’ll even toss in a protective sleeve (think of it like bear armor for your armored bear).