“…which is why I’m here.”

The move was performed by my host in less than 24 hours after I requested it late at night. The MySQL alterations were performed by me in less than ten minutes. I’ve got this domain for a year, so I’m here to stay.

Three men are standing at the gate to Heaven. They walk up to the gatekeeper, who gives them a sagely nod and tells them, “I’m sorry, but I can only let in those of you who died a horrible, horrible death.” He turns to the first man and asks, “How did you die?”

The first man replies, “I had recently learned my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early to surprise her. I entered my apartment and walked into the bedroom to see my wife lying on the bed, sweating like she’d just had some action. I also noticed a pile of another man’s clothes on the floor, so I knew the adulterer had to be somewhere in the house. I looked all over, but I couldn’t find him. Then I had an idea. I walked out to the balcony, and there he was, hanging off the edge stark naked. I was angry at this guy for sleeping with my wife, so I started stomping on his fingers. Now, I live on the fourth floor, and I thought the drop would kill him, but he landed on a trampoline someone placed outside to be thrown away and simply bounced around a couple times before landing softly on the ground.”

“By this time, I was furious. I ran to the kitchen, grabbed the fridgerator, and shoved it off the balcony. It landed on the guy’s head, BAM he’s dead. Unfortunately, I’m an old man, and this was simply too much excitement for me, so I promptly had a heart attack and died.”

The gatekeeper gives the man a sagely nod, and tells him, “Yes, that was a horrible death. You may enter.” The gatekeeper turns to the second man and asks him, “How did you die?”

The second man replies, “I had just finished taking a shower, so I went out onto the balcony for a bit of fresh air. I had just stepped out when my foot slipped and I fell over the edge. Now, I live on the fifth floor of my aparment, and I thought the drop would kill me, but I managed to grab hold of the edge of the fourth floor balcony, though I lost my towel in the process. I was there thanking God I didn’t fall down five flights, when this man walks up to me and starts stomping on my fingers. I can’t hold on, so I fall, but luckily this trampoline breaks my fall. I’m there thanking God again, when suddenly this fridgerator comes out of nowhere and lands on my head, which is why I’m here.”

The gatekeeper gives the man a sagely nod, and tells him, “Yes, that was a horrible death. You may enter.” The gatekeeper turns to the third man and asks him, “How did you die?”

The third man nervously replies, “I was hiding naked in the refridgerator.”